No More Cheek Kissing - TV Comedy Drama by MArk Shearman

 

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Five Star Review Zorro's Last Stand

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I appreciate feedback but it's special when you get a five-star review from one of your favourite authors
Karl Wiggins
5.0 out of 5 stars

If you only buy one book this year, make it this one
May, 2018
What a book! Mark Shearman has the ex-pat community in the Costa Blanca down to a T. I lived four years in the Algarve and it’s very true that you find yourself mixing with people you would never look twice at back home.
For my own part I recall The Munchkins (he went to jail for poisoning her), Timeshare Joe, Kevin the Murderer, and a whole host of the most unusual characters you could hope to meet. And Mark Shearman picks up on this theme with ease. They’re not so much real characters, just bizarre, offbeat people, yet surprisingly unnoteworthy.
The riff-raff and the hoi polio mix with ease. They meet in the same bar and sit on the same stools they’ve been sitting on for years. And without exception they are all liars. They all have their stories to tell, yet they never share the real one. Their clothes are now the same, their histories are different and, like all ex-pats the world over, they’re a melting pot of offbeat coarse comedy.
In Shearman’s book we meet the protagonist, Danny, who to put it bluntly, just ain’t right. And yet as the story progresses we soon get to realise that a) he fits in perfectly and despite the fact that he runs around debt-collecting in Zorro outfits, no one thinks him strange, and b) compared to everyone else he’s as sane as the Speaker in the House of Lords.
The characters just keep coming at you, and it’s a measure of Shearman’s genius and wit that they’re as divergent as it’s possible to be. We have the beautiful Charlotte with the sumptuous breasts and perennial suntan, who once represented her country at martial arts in the Olympics, and the English prostitute, Gena, playing Russian roulette with her body. Danny recalls better days for Gena when he spent time with her and her husband, Jack, bar-b-queuing, laughing and drinking.
I don’t want to throw any more spoilers in here, but I must say that if you only buy one book this year, make it this one. It’s well-written with a host of sub-plots and a cast of characters that are so true to the ex-pat community.

Zorro's Last Stand

https://goo.gl/drVNXd

Zorro's Last Stand

https://goo.gl/drVNXd

Expats Spain

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Publisher: Bronwyn Editions

AMAZON

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2004: Thanks for the Vodka 

by Harpie (Author), Karl Wiggins (Author)

 This isn’t one of those fashionably erotic books where the guy’s got a six-pack and a penis that twangs harder than a piano string. Harpie’s novels are always written in diary format, and this book doesn’t get sexually graphic until January 24th. And it’s not good sex either. It’s dirty, messy, awkward, sweaty sex. This isn’t Nine and a Half Weeks or Indecent Proposal. This is sex that is sticky and clammy.

We join author Harpie after having most of her stomach and intestines removed in a gastric by-pass, all of which means she doesn’t get physically hungry at all. Not ever. This is a radical step when it comes to losing weight, but Harpie is if nothing else radical and extreme.

Trouble is never far from Harpie’s door. Her son’s being violently bullied by boys five years his senior, she’s got a house full of animals, including polecats that bite, and she’s desperately searching for love. Or sex. Or anything. Which is where Rick comes in. Can he be the one?

Harpie’s been abused physically, mentally, emotionally and sexually all her life, but she’s still standing, marching to the centre of the ring every time the bell signals in a new round, eyeballing the opposition as if screaming, ‘Come on life. Let’s see you take your best shot.’

In this book the reader can’t help but experience Harpie’s life the way it is because she shares all the garbage and the unsightly secrets of her soul, as well as that which is wonderful and fascinating.

German novelist, Franz Kafka, wrote, “What we need are books that hit us like a most painful misfortune, like the death of someone we loved more than we love ourselves, that make us feel as though we had been banished to the woods, far from any human presence, like a suicide.” Well here we have one such book. In writing her truths Harpie bares her soul, revealing her deepest and most intimate thoughts, slashing a metaphoric vein and bleeding onto the page.

With ruthless and unblushing honesty, principled integrity and a gallows humour few authors can match, Harpie writes her truth, missing absolutely nothing out, and the reader can’t help but cheer her on from the stands as she struggles to keep her life on track.

And if you want to know what Harpie is doing covered from head to foot in cooking oil and slithering about on the floor of her kitchen while six “big burly fire-fighters” do their duty, well you’ll just have to read the book.

This is a book of raw emotion …. And it bleeds

KW

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